


No Guarantee

by DC_bookfanatic



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Angst, Chicago Med secret santa, Heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21958381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DC_bookfanatic/pseuds/DC_bookfanatic
Summary: When April gets devastating news, Dr. Crockett Marcel is there.
Relationships: Crockett Marcel/April Sexton
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	No Guarantee

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mightyfinebear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mightyfinebear/gifts).



> Hey you guys! This is a Chicago Med Secret Santa gift for mightyfinebear (@sextonsharpwinhalstead on tumblr). I really hope this is to your satisfaction because I will confess, I stopped watching Chicago Med after season four because if you don't know already, Ava Bekker is my favorite character and my all time OTP is Rhekker and well....we all know what happened to them so, yeah. Wasn't really interested in the show much anymore; I did however watch the crossover which was, in my opinion, quite good...Anyways, I digress. So, all that to say, I'm not really up on the Crockett Marcel and April Sexton pairing but through some research and slight stalking of @sextonsharpwinhalstead's account on tumblr, I think I came up with something that will pass and meet the secret santa prompt! So, I apologize now for any discrepancies you may find regarding cannon. Please just ignore it and take the story as slightly 'AU' if that occurs.
> 
> I really would like you guy's response because this is my first time writing a different pairing in the Chicago Med universe! Especially you @sextonsharpwinhalstead because I wrote this for you!! MERRY CHRISTMAS and I really hope you enjoy your gift!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Not mine.
> 
> Secret Santa Prompt: "We're not just friends and you know it." April/Crockett

_Pre-menopausal_

April closed her eyes.

_Pre-menopausal_

A shaking hand reached out to touch the wall for support.

_IVF_

It all made since now.

_She’s pre-menopausal_

She knew what that meant.

Becoming pregnant would be extremely difficult. And keeping the baby would be just as hard.

Maybe this was her lot for not sticking to her faith, disregarding her beliefs until it worked in her favor. She fully recognized she was a hypocrite at times.

But she wanted the baby, the house, the guy - _Ethan -_ and she decided she didn’t much care about the order.

Or well she thought it was Ethan she wanted but everything was just so complicated now. She couldn’t have children, not without a lot of help and her relationship as a whole with Ethan had been tumultuous to say the least and now, she had this undefined thing with Crockett Marcel.

_She couldn’t have children._

Ethan so desperately wanted to be a father, so much so they’d gotten into arguments. Was that how all trying couples acted?

They’d just had an argument; one Ethan had initiated which he’d apologized for, but he didn’t ask her how she felt about it.

He just apologized and never asked for her feelings or thoughts.

But she loved him, didn’t she? He was supposed to be the one. They were planning a baby for crying out loud.

_A baby that will never be._

How was she going to tell him? He was going to be so disappointed. She was even afraid he might be upset with her.

April shook her head. She was actually afraid he was going to mad at her.

Wasn’t that the definition of an unhealthy relationship?

She should be 100% positive that he would be understanding and supportive of her and concerned about her feelings; not all wrapped up in his.

But she wasn’t and not for the first time did she have that nagging feeling in the back of her mind that maybe Ethan wasn’t good for her. That she loved the idea of them but in reality, they weren’t meant for each other. No matter how much Ethan told her that he loved her and that she was his soulmate.

And then there was the thing with Marcel. The kiss that almost happened. The kiss that for a split second she wanted to happen but then she thought of Ethan and she was too loyal to do something like that to him, no matter her unwavering feelings.

At first, she’d chalked Crockett up to be a stereotypical surgeon, full of himself with an ego the size of Texas with all that southern charm and flirty attitude. But like so many of the people she’d worked with, he wasn’t what he seemed. And as far as she could tell, that was a good thing.

He was caring and compassionate in quiet way, his faux insensitive personality covering it from getting in the way. Upon further observation, April realized this personality usually came out only when he was warming up for surgery as he interacted with other doctors but when it came down to it, he was soft with his patients and with his coworkers.

And with her.

And he inquired about her feelings and he’d become a silent supporter.

Maybe that’s what drew her to him. That he actually cared about how others felt.

Not like Ethan.

Well, that wasn’t fair; Of course she knew Ethan cared about people—he wouldn’t be a doctor if he didn’t and he used to be so attentive to her emotions when they tried the whole relationship thing the first time but slowly, he’d neglected her, focusing on his sister, his patients, even Vikki—everyone but her.

But Crockett made her feel important in a special kind of way for the first time in quite a while.

Oh God. Why was life so hard? And complicated?

She sank down in the dark corner of the doctor’s lounge and buried her face in her hands, knowing no one would notice her from the ED. It was late and the lights were off in the room so even though the blinds were open, she felt certain no one was paying any attention to the glass windows. Let alone her figure shrouded in darkness, hidden by the couch that sat against the wall.

And Ethan wasn’t in the hospital, so she didn’t have to worry about him coming and nagging her for information.

She laughed bitterly. Shouldn’t she be seeking out his comfort instead of hiding from him?

April wasn’t sure how long she sat there mourning her messy relationship with a man she wasn’t sure she even wanted anymore and mourning a future she would never have with him or anyone else.

What a mess she’d turned out to be. If only her parents could see her now.

A voice calling her name softly floated into the fog of her thoughts. Quickly, she wiped her tears, desperately hoping that whoever it was would not ask questions and just leave her alone.

“April.”

Oh, that smooth voice. The one with that drawling southern accent. The one that seemed to capture her into an unwilling trance.

He crept closer, clearly unsure of how to react to her crying form crouched up in the corner of the doctor’s lounge.

April looked at him dumbly for a few seconds before wiping her tears again, pushing herself up off the linoleum in an attempt to appear more a hold of herself.

“I’m sorry,” Crockett’s eyebrow’s furrowed, “I didn’t know you were in here.”

April couldn’t manage to get any words out. She supposed she was still in too much shock, too wrapped up in grief to try to mask the devastation that seemed to be reigning down on her life at the present moment.

Or maybe it was that she didn’t care because with Crockett, she felt safe. Cared for in a way she’d never felt from her brother, her close friends or even Ethan.

Which didn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense; She hadn’t known him for very long nor did she spend lots of time with him but try telling that to her uninhibited feelings that kept surging within her heart every time she saw him.

He looked at her with concern, “Is everything alright?”

She didn’t say anything, and he seemed to hesitate over his next words.

“Would you--,” He paused, “--Do you want me to get Ethan for you?”

That was the last thing she wanted. She couldn’t deal with her boyfriend right now. Besides, he wasn’t even in the hospital.

She shook her head sharply, “No! No, that okay,” She took a breath, “Thank you though.”

Crockett hesitated once again, almost like he was approaching a wild animal, “I-uh. Is everything alright between you two?”

At her distressed look he hurried on, “It’s just I-uh I just realized that you two were together and I-uh didn’t mean to drive any kind of a wedge between you two…with that moment at the crawfish broil. I truly didn’t mean to butt in—if I had known you and Ethan were together…Because I’m fond of you both.”

He chuckled nervously, obviously trying to dissipate the awkward tension rising in the room, “If you tell anyone that, I’ll have to kill you. Can’t have people thinking I really care and have feelings, you know.”

If April was thinking as she normally did, like a rational, put-together, fearless nurse, then she probably would have been fascinated by Crockett’s anxious behavior because it was so totally opposite than what she’s used to seeing from him.

She also probably would have been startled at the fact that it seemed that Crockett hadn’t known about her relationship with Ethan.

And now that she thought about it, why would he?

Everyone had already known about her and Ethan’s history as well as their current status when Marcel entered the equation after switching from nights to days so it wasn’t totally unbelievable that he wouldn’t know. It’s not like the people they worked with would just randomly come up to him and say, ‘Ethan and April are an item’ even if her fellow nurses liked to gossip.

She also came to the startling realization that whenever Crockett had been around, she’d refrained from any PDA, instead interacting with Ethan like any other nurse would. Whether she’d done it on a subconscious level or not still remained to be seen.

Crockett rubbed the back of his neck, “Look April, I didn’t mean to intrude and I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted. I don’t want to get in the middle of something.”

April shook her head. There were a million things racing through her brain, but she didn’t quite know what to say so she settled on the thought foremost in her mind.

“I can’t have children.”

He looked startled at her blunt revelation, but he recovered quickly, “I’m so sorry April. I didn’t know you and Ethan trying.”

The awkward tension got thicker and he seemed to think about what he’d just said but it wasn’t like he could take it back. He’d probably just make things worse.

“It’s alright. You couldn’t have known,” Her words sounded hollow to her own ears and it was lame response to an uncomfortable but well-meaning commiseration.

She must have looked miserable because after only a glimpse of hesitance flicker across his face, Crockett quickly stepped forward to grab her arms in an attempt to comfort her.

Immediately, April burst into quiet sobs, leaning into the solid warmth Crockett Marcel was providing her with.

The thought of ‘this should be Ethan’ came unbidden to her mind and she quickly pushed it out, burying herself deeper into the surgeon’s strong chest. She would allow herself this selfish moment to grieve in supportive arms—arms that were not her boyfriend’s, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

She needed this. She needed Crockett because with him she felt she could be vulnerable and week.

April wasn’t exactly sure how long she spent crying into Crockett’s scrubs while he held her, whispering soothing words into her hair but once she was finished, she felt a little bit lighter than she had.

However, she still didn’t want to think of the daunting task she still had before her—telling Ethan.

The thought alone made her want to curl back into Crockett’s warm, safe arms and stay there forever.

“Thank you,” She murmured quietly, lifting her head from his tear-soaked scrubs to wipe away the rest of her tears.

He flashed an unsure grin, “Well, that’s what friends are for right?”

His statement fell flat on both their ears because they were so much more than that.

April chuckled bitterly, shaking her head as she fully extracted herself from Crockett’s arms.

She gave him a look, “We’re not just friends and you know it.”

“April,” His face crumpled in heartbreak, “I think you know how I feel about you but you’re with Ethan and it seems pretty serious. I don’t want it to be awkward between us. And I don’t want to ruin any friendship that we might have because that’s better than nothing and I also don’t want to make Ethan upset because he’s my friend too.”

April heaved a heavy sigh, “I know Crockett and you’re a good man, I just,” She licked her lips, “I’m not really sure about anything right now.”

She looked up at him, “I need to sort out how I feel about all of this—about Ethan, about not being able to have children and about you because well, I think you know how I feel about you too. We’ve got undeniable chemistry.”

April let that hang in the air for a few seconds before taking in a deep breath, “But most importantly I think I need to figure out what all this means for me. I-I think I need to take a step and figure out where I stand with myself because this changes everything.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but he seemed to think better of it.

She closed her eyes briefly to collect herself, wiping her face to make sure all remnants of tears were gone before moving to the door out to the fairly quiet ED. Crocket’s eyes followed her, turning his body towards her.

April stopped, her hand on the door and turned back towards Crockett with a sad smile, “Live life lightly, Crockett Marcel.”

And then she was gone, Crockett staring longingly after her.

**Author's Note:**

> And there it is... Um hopefully not too bad! I did my best and I really hope it payed off! Merry Christmas!


End file.
